"Heard of it? I've had dreams of wearing it and using it," I replied. Mynipples hardened and tingled against the ace bandage I used to flattendown my breasts as images of the dildo darted in and out of my mind'seye.Her voice took on the tone of school teacher. "The dildo has been in ourfamily for years, but last night it disappeared from the safe in ourlibrary. Our oriental houseboy has also disappeared and we think he mayhave stolen it for war profiteers in Japan to hold for ransom." Write it up and sell it to Paramount. So what does this have to do withme? I take no sides in these petty little post-war disputes," I spat."We need to get that dildo back, and our family is willing to pay for it.It leaves a hole in our legacy that must not remain empty," she remarkedin a voice that purred like 47 Packard sedan."Listen sister, I know a lot of holes that need filled. Why didn't youreport it to cops?" I shot back.A dark pallor washed over her face. "The cops mustn't know."I felt a. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 mph.Minutes later, he returns to the garage. He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. He finds it’s going to be bad weather all day long, so he puts his boat back in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed. There he cuddles up to his wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispers, “The weather out there is terrible.”To which she sleepily replies, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit?”This one is compliments of Mario.The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town church in Ireland. One day he was walking down the High Street and he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer.The Reverend wasn’t happy. He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the woman.‘Mrs Fitzgerald, ‘ he said sternly. ‘This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don’t you let me take you home?’‘Sure, ‘.
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